Where to Hide Sex Toys: Discreet Storage for Private Items

When it comes to discreet storage for private items, it doesn’t get any more personal than sex toys – and, as they say, there’s even a place for those. Make no mistake about it: This is a very practical concern for many young adults, in particular, as they navigate their way through the usual Cosmo-based hooking up hints and bedroom sex tips, many of them needing to increase the real estate dedicated to their ever-growing collection of adult products.

The rock band Steely Dan may have kicked off the more modern day hoopla surrounding the popularity of sex toys and the way they’re sometimes aptly named – for those of you too young to get our Steely Dan reference, do a quick Google search on it – but these products, unbeknownst to many, date back over 28,000 years. That’s right: Ancient phalluses were made from bronze, stone, bread and camel excrement, and while it may be downright weird to think of your ancestors “utilizing” sex toys, there is a very high certainty that they actually did.

German archaeologists were tickled pink (some pun intended) when they unearthed what is now known as the world’s oldest dildo in a cave in Baden-Wuertemberg in southern Germany in 2005. This refers to the aforementioned 28,000-year-old toy, presumably identified as the one of the earliest sex toys on planet Earth. These archaeologists worked to rebuild the phallus from 14 stone fragments, the ancient toy measuring around eight inches (20 centimeters) long and three centimeters wide, and while many of these dildo-esque objects may have been used ceremonially or for religious purposes, some historians say it’s safe to assume they were also used in a sexual context.

Now, in getting back to the meat of this article, we wouldn’t be far off our rockers by saying a lot of folks store their sex toys in their nightstands. But as their collections grow, a better way of managing the increasing stash becomes more important, and to this end, different people store them different ways. The first thought when seeing someone discover a box filled with orgasmic goodies under the bed is always “OMG! That’s so dirty!” – but we’re not referring to “dirty” as the sexy and fun kind, rather the unhygienic variant.

Let’s be real here: Sex toys accumulate a variety of bodily fluids, and when they’re not kept sanitary and clean, a lot of unwanted infections can be introduced to our privates. Would you insert something into your most delicate of folds when it has been collecting grime and dust in an open container? Even if you don’t own a box of sex toys, it’s time to get with the program.

Sex Toy Storage: Hidden Spots for Personal Products

To keep you on the right track of “pleasure toy maintenance,” consider the following storage suggestions.

• Keep Them Separate – You might be tempted to keep your toys bundled together in one space, but it’s actually much safer to keep each toy relegated to their own box or bag – especially if you own a plethora of silicone toys. This is because silicone eradicates silicone, and leaving them for long periods of time in the same proximity will damage the material; there is no such rule when organizing those made from plastic, glass or metal. To avoid fumbling about as you search for your preferred toy in the moment, it’s wise to organize your goodies based on size and type.

• Get Creative with Nightstand Storage and More – Are you the proud owner of various types of sex toy models – perhaps more than 300? It’s time to invest in a few sets of nightstand drawers with dividers inside. If you have a special room dedicated to your accumulated products, you can invest in a few hanging cupboards; consequently, hooks for whips, BDSM ropes and strap-on harnesses are ideal alternatives to leaving them tangled up in a drawer.

Regardless of what containers are chosen, they should be able to close properly and provide a dry, comfortable environment.

• Under the Bed – This may seem obvious, but let us be clearer: Don’t just keep them under the bed, but in some kind of bag or case that looks completely inconspicuous. Need some examples? How about an old school phys ed bag or in the midst of several black bags full of old clothes no longer being worn?

• Adult Toy Sanitizer Case – How lucky are we, as discriminating adults who enjoy pleasuring ourselves, that actual UV sanitizer cases exist today? These cases work with all manner of objects and things that would benefit from a good old-fashioned bath – and that includes sex toys. In your search for more creative ways to hide your personal treasures, consider these types of cases solely for the storage of sex toys, as they’ve been designed with precision, boast petite dimensions and keep your favorite products sanitized and ready-for-use on the go.

Some other suggestions for storage include:

• Storage furniture including ottomans
• Stored-away luggage
• Shoeboxes
• Inside socks and underwear drawer
• Inside a tissue box
• Secret pocket in a handbag
• Inside a tampon box
• Inside a stuffed animal

When you find yourself with one or more sex toys but are concerned about them being found by family or unexpected visitors, don’t fret. You may have already discovered some creative ways around this, but consider the suggestions in this article so you’ll never have to face an awkward conversation.