What No One Told Me About Post-Birth Desire

Your body, emotions, sleep schedule, relationship with your partner, and yes, even your sex life, undergo massive changes when you are having a baby.

Childbirth does affect women in a lot ways than pregnancy does but one thing that’s rarely talked about or considered is sexual appetite.

In case you are feeling lost on the emotional and physical turmoil that I would like to label as a post-birth soldier, rest assured because you’re not the only one.

So tell me dear, how do you think a Kegel vibrator can re-introduce you to your body and sexual desire that comes with pleasure? Don’t scoff till the end because today I intend to describe the blunt truth about post childbirth sexual appetite.

The Silent Shift: How Childbirth Changes Your Body and Mind

The venture of stepping into a new world that awaits after giving birth is commendable, Tell me, does it not get a wee bit confusing when it comes to identifying your attitude or physiological responses to sex?

With regard to this the say is ladies, healing after giving baby is no less than dealing with a myriad of unexpected sexual sensations and emotions. However few ladies do forget to address the specifics mentioned below:

1. It Takes Forever to Heal

We all expect healing to come within set parameters post surgery but here is the fun fact, there is a big difference between the all clear and actual emotional and mental readiness. As far as actual arousal is concerned, the lady might still be feeling overly sensitive, dry, distanced or disinterested.

In this scenario, your body’s hormones are driving the show. If you give birth (especially breastfeed), your estrogen levels drop sharply, which can cause vaginal dryness, irritation, and a general feeling of not having full ownership of your body. On top of this, if you add the extreme fatigue and stress of looking after a newborn, then sex will be the last thing on your mind.

Tip: Take your time with it. Talk it through with your partner, apply a lot of personal lubricant, and comfort should be prioritized above everything else.

2. Desire Never Reappears Out of Thin Air

It is perfectly normal for a woman to have no sexual desire, even if she is deeply in love with her partner.

A lot of women on r/AskWomen mentioned that after childbirth, it took them several months or even up to a year to get back into the mood.

This is primarily caused due to intense, life-altering event that your body has dealt with recently coupled with a mind that takes time to acclimatize to new priorities. Feeling different on a physical and emotional level is perfectly fine.

Shifting focus to how one gets to feel is a healthier route to take rather than aiming to feel a specific way. So, instead of completely shifting gears after giving birth, concentrate on cultivating small affectionate gestures like gentle hugs, kisses, and touch without anticipation. Doing so will create emotional attachment and help trigger positive changes to happen with time.

3. The Game Changing Pelvic Floor Strength

The muscles in the pelvic floor region that supports the bladder, uterus, and bowel are quite frequently weakened and stretched after pregnancy and child birth.

This can lead to:

• Reduced sensation in intercourse.
• Inability to orgasm.
• Mild incontinence.

Overall “looser” feeling in body and lack of confidence.

Blood flow and support can be regained by strengthening those muscles with Kegel exercises.

But when busy and exhausted, Kegels are always tricky to get done right, done consistently.

That’s where Kegel vibrators come in.

With a Kegel vibrator, (HERCARESS has wonderfully crafted versions), unlike normal Kegels, muscles are guided through contractions and relaxation with gentle vibrations which makes strength building possible without overthinking it.

The muscle reconnecting process also has a less clinical feel to it and is truly easier and more enjoyable.

Self Story: Fulfilling Journey After Feeling Frustrated

Let me be frank: having sex was not on my mind at all after my first child.

Even after the 6 week check up when I was “medically cleared”, I didn’t feel ready. And the first attempt? It felt completely off, wrong. Painfully awkward.

Intimacy can be uncomfortable due to vaginal dryness that nobody had forewarned about. Equally, nobody warned that breastfeeding would diminish libido or how exhaustion and resentment could seep into the relationship due to a lack of communication.

I felt shattered for several months.

On top of that, there was a sense of guilt that plagued me; feeling as if I were failing as a spouse even though I was merely trying to endure the challenges that came with new motherhood.

My story changed when:

I granted myself self-compassion which allowed me to stop self-blame and to let my body heal at its own pace.

Having open communication helped as well. With my partner, I was able to share my vulnerable fears, my body image concerns, and protective needs.

With a shift in self-image and empowerment, I started to feel more connected to my body after using Kegel vibrators a few times every week due to the research I conducted.

The change wasn’t instantaneous, but the progress made was genuine. After all, intimacy advanced to feeling more pleasurable and gratifying than it did before.

Practical Strategies for Rekindling Desire postpartum:

1. Conserve emotional closeness

Emotional intimacy frequently sparks physical closeness. Engage in nonverbal interactions such as hugging, handholding, and talking to one another sans distractions.

2. Sex can be redefined in different contexts.

Intimacy is much more than penetration. Activities that involve touch and other connections are just as important if they provide pleasure to both partners.

3. Lubrication and sex toys can also be embraced.

Ample amounts of lubricants should be used. Tools and other devices such as Kegel vibrators should not be avoided as these can enhance pleasure.

4. Enhancing the pelvic floor can also be embraced.

Building muscle tone through Kegel exercises should be prioritized. They can also help provide greater pleasure, making the experience enjoyable.

5. Guilt should be released.

These timelines can vary a lot with some women settling for 6 weeks while others take 6 months or more and both points are acceptable.

6. Understanding oneself and other partners can take time.

Your partner might not fully understand what you’re going through and that’s okay. They should be compassionate while also remaining communicative.

Final Thoughts: Healing is an effortless journey but not something we should rush

We can all agree that postpartum intimacy can be emotional, complex, and even messy as no one seems to ever talk about it unlike anything else.

The truth is that even though something as simple as intuition can feel trying, approaching it should never be beaten down. Normal is what it is, and healing is the beauty that fuels such confusion.

Taking steps towards emotional intimacy, pelvic floor exercises, and gentle yet effective communication can help you reconnect with your body, partner, and experience pleasure.

When the time is right for you, we recommend starting out with powerful tools such as Kegel vibrators. These tools work wonders to help you restore pleasure and confidence.

You deserve joy, intimacy, and the ability to feel whole again – all on your terms and at the pace you choose.

Would you like to begin your postpartum wellness journey?

At HERCARESS, you can explore a specially curated collection of women’s health essentials, such as Kegel vibrators, and learn how these tools can help you transform your journey and redefine your pleasure.