The 4 Different Levels of Female-Led Relationships

Are you familiar with the term ‘FLR’? It stands for female-led relationships and there are actually a few relationships out there that are misunderstood as them. Well, today we’re going to talk a bit about this type of relationship, the definition, as well as the different levels.

So, whether you’ve heard of it or not, we’ll go back to the basics then dive in a bit deeper. Hopefully you’ll learn something new and interesting, as it’s quite a fascinating thing to read up on.

And who knows, you may just be in a FLR relationship yourself without knowing it as some women naturally take on a dominant role and their partner simply follows suit.

FLR meaning: a definition

As we mentioned, a FLR relationship is a female-led relationship. What is it? It’s when the woman in a heterosexual relationship is the dominant one.

This is becoming more and more popular as, you know, times are changing, and we’re seeing way more equality in partnerships as well as women taking on more previously male-dominating roles.

These days, many women aren’t housewives, they’re the breadwinners.

Where did the term FLR relationships come from? It’s said to have come from the world of femdom. That is, in the context of BDSM, women dominated their partner sexually.

But with FLR relationships, the meaning is widened, and can include things like taking control of major decisions in the house such as chores, financial choices, and one’s social or sex life, aka taking on a position of authority.

There are four different types of FLR relationships, so here’s a little cheat sheet for those who are intrigued.

The 4 types of FLR relationships

1. Low control

In this type of FLR relationship, the power is quite balanced. Both partners are likely to share responsibilities like decision making, child care, and chores, and perhaps both work and bring in money. It can differ from an atypical relationship because the woman may make the same amount of money, if not more, than her male partner. Some people enjoy this level of FLR relationships because it’s a way to flip the script and go against the narrative that society tells them to live. In terms of bedroom play, it could mean that the woman is a bit more dominant, but it could also be that partners like to switch their roles.

2. Mid-control

This level of female-led relationship is not like a traditional partnership because it shatters the idea that a man may want to exert power or criticise a woman if they’re dominant. In a mid-control level of a relationship, a woman can feel safe and secure in their own power without feeling any conflict from their male partner. There is more emphasis on female dominance, and she will have a higher level of control than the man, from financial control to household decisions and more. This often includes in the bedroom, too. For example, she is predominantly more dominant, and their sex life may include some aspects of kink or bondage.

3. Defined control

This is a more defined relationship where a woman has the most power and there is less flexibility for the male. While there may be some wiggle room for him to have his say, he is predominantly submissive in all areas of the partnership. This level of FLR relationship isn’t as fluid or organic as the first two. In defined control, there are specific decided-upon parts where the female has complete control, and both partners have agreed to this. It’s like a reverse of a traditional relationship. In terms of sex, it’s likely that the woman is dominant and may engage in more intense activities such as chastity play or orgasm denial.

4. Total control

This is when a woman has complete control over all aspects of the relationship. There are no grey lines here and no flexibility, the woman will make every decision, including things such as how her partner organises his life and hobbies, how he dresses, when they have sex, and how he spends his money. It’s also extremely likely that this couple engages in BDSM roles where the male is some kind of pet, servant, slave, or object for the woman’s pleasure. Or, their play time could consist of humiliation, pain, or bondage.

Having gone through these four levels, are there any pros or cons to these kinds of relationships?

Pros of a FLR relationship

• It can be go against what society says, which can feel like a sense of freedom for some
• It’s a safe space to feel one’s own power
• It can make a woman feel powerful if she feels disempowered in her daily life
• It can take responsibility away from men who don’t want it
• It allows a safe space for men to play with kink without feeling emasculated

Cons of a FLR relationship

• It can be tiresome for some women to manage
• Couples may feel judged by their peers or outsiders
• One partner could change their mind leading to resentment
• It could lead to coercion or abuse of power

Concepts for a healthy FLR relationship

If you’re in a FLR relationship, or considering it, here are three considerations that may help keep it healthy and happy:

• Communication: make sure to talk to each other often about feelings, goals, expectations, and boundaries
• Review: continue to review your level and how your relationship works to make sure both are happy and benefiting from this type of partnership
• Outside noise: try to drown out outside noise and influence, and focus on what makes your relationship work

And there you have it! A little guide with a FLR meaning and on FLR relationships. Do you think this type of partnership is right for you? What are your thoughts?